Some posts are harder than others. I keep some posts to myself, afraid to let go. But after 5 days of overthinking it feels like I should just let go and let it be.
15 years ago I started a journey with the best person in this universe. Later in the summer I accepted a spot for myself in school and moved back to Finland. Even though I have never worked a day in the field I studied, it’s been easy to understand why my path took me there. It’s been very helpful to know what to do with computers as an entrepreneur – and I like to think I’ve been of help to others as well. And if I’ve had any issues, I’ve googled A LOT and gone forward with plain Finnish stubbornness. Then the best person in this universe studied himself to become even bigger of a nerd than I am. When my knowledge runs our, he steps in. Together we’ve experienced so many awesome adventures, grown to become photographers together, lived in many apartments we’ve made home for ourselves, experienced our first cat become a star in the sky, dealt with tough times, laughed at our own stupid jokes, sang many songs where we’ve replaced the lyrics with something cat related, got engaged on a local train, planned a rushed wedding, hiked on mountains, moped and snapped at each other – but still we haven’t had any fights. Sometimes we’ve laughed so hard that our throats were raspy and stomachs hurting.
Although these 15 years have been filled with laughter, last couple of years have been filled with tears. I’ve been more or less sick my whole life and I’ve been diabetic for 20 years (O-M-G!). I’ve gotten along with my issues, bitten the bullet and tried to stay positive. But when the person most dear to you gets sick, you feel so hopeless. This must be what parents deal with when their kids get sick? You’d do anything to make them feel better. You’d take it all away and carry the load yourself, but you can’t. You’d do anything to ease the way they’re feeling, but you can’t. You just try to be there for them, even though sometimes you just don’t know how.
It’s easy to go through old photos and wish you could turn back the hands of time. Go back to a time when everything was better – or at least easier. But that’s not how life works. Sometimes it throws big piles of obstacles on your path, but you can’t stay there, laying underneath them. Some obstacles are easier to deal with, some require more effort. Although our path might be full of those harder obstacles now, we won’t let them slow us down. Because in the end we’re so much more than our sicknesses, although they have come to stay. Our sicknesses cannot ever reach our dreams – they do not have place there. Together we will push our way through the hardest of winds, both figuratively and literally when we’re adventuring. I wonder where we will be in 15 years?
On our anniversary this quote came to my mind and I pray it’s true for us.
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”